A score and ten years ago,
a marriage was formed and as the rest of them go:
They lived happily ever after. Though,
this story isn’t over, no it’s a bit more complex.
Happiness alone doesn’t last thirty years, so let us reflect.
Red dust, cleats, and worn leather gloves–never expected softball to kickstart these dominos
Mom found herself in an unknown town and joined a team to find friends.
The coach, she never would have imagined, became just that, then lover, and husband–
who would change her life forever, and who’s love would never quit.
This was solidified with bands of gold, vows, and celebration. From this they began their journey and on the path their bright love lit
They carried on as before, with their friends and their jobs and on and on….
But then came their first kid, I think Fred was his name.
Their honeymoon was over and things would never be the same.
Friendships got harder and each road trip felt farther,
and with mom back at home, more weight on each dollar.
So naturally, the best thing to do is just move,
which they did– to this house which we all now sit.
Twenty-One Twenty Tulip Lane, on the nice side of town
and now, with more space and more yard,
With a few nicer neighbors, Elizabeth, Nancy, and Don.
The three bedroom home needed another Irby member
and soon after they moved, they got their real treasure.
Of kids it is true: first is the worst, second is the best,
the third came much later (with the best genes I must confess)
From the beginning, the Irby family was sufficiently blessed.
In two-thousand one, after he met his last grandchild,
Grandpa Bob passed on. The first parent to bury
for the young couple, now seven years married.
How time seems to fly!
preschool, then kindergarten, daycare with miss Peggy,
Mom’s working nights, and Dad’s getting heavy.
Taking trips every week, missing a bit more than he’d like,
children running to the curb, Dad hoisting them high
Limited tender time spent until the next goodbye
He started to consider: How else to provide?
His big brother Richard has done well as a teacher
that job, though less pay, had some attractable features;
like the time to raise kids, to coach, and goof off with teenagers.
Of course, who could forget the best feature of all: summer.
But from sales to instructor was no simple switch,
old Bert had to return to finish school: what a bummer!
He withdrew his investments and refinanced the home,
sent his wife back to work and each day to Goodwell, Oklahoma he drove.
Greased up his ol’ thinking cap, blew off the dust;
spanish causing the greatest grief, a strife to face he must.
Down to the final project, Dad’s creativity turned to his girl;
sweet, but a little stinky (the perfect distraction)
Fishing poles, gummy worms, an adorable tune she sung
A passed grade, a tassel, cap, and gown,
All needed parts to be home with his young.
After a few long years, college boy got his degree
And in two-thousand seven, he started to teach.
Meanwhile, mom was working full time at the Seward County Health Department
full of kind-hearted coworkers– or one at least:
a woman named Susan, who’d become her best friend.
Susan opened a cafe where so often Mom spent
hours in meetings about leadership this, committee that,
organizations, alliances, associations, and all that they bring;
Elizabeth Irby was in the middle of it all. And if that’s not enough, she’d find any excuse to sing.
This was about the same time when new scout leaders were needed
she went to SPSR and Mandan and the National Scout Jamboree
All this energy, she got it from her Dad, and passed it to me
To this day, you’ll rarely find Elizabeth sitting in a seat
Her restlessness evolved to be a community presence.
There were always familiar faces and yacking, at the store, school, everywhere we went,
God called her for service, an unwavering force, advocate, and teacher,
unconditional love in every moment spent.
Mom’s selflessness could be recognized with the hugs given, laughter heard, and smiles shown
but it truly took form in the still, intimate moments that came from that three bedroom home.
With comforting late night stomach aches, nightly Magic Treehouse chapters, and lullabies that took us somewhere over the rainbow
Bogue was always the best place to celebrate a holiday.
We would all stay at Grandma’s
then convene at the hall, the church or the farm.
Though many have moved out, there’s no doubt where they’re from;
a place of all Irbys where even the strangest are welcome.
But by two-thousand eleven, Grandma Marguerite needed full time care.
No matter what she needed, Bret and Beth were always there.
She lost her memory, and soon after, her mind, but always kept the sass of a salty card player.
And having her here brought more good than we knew
because church was no longer a choice, but the thing that we do.
Grandma brought a joy and a sorrow that fell hard in twenty-twenty–
tears were shed but a blessing indeed
Her legacy is plenty and her love shines through our laughter, every Irby surely knows,
but we did not know, two years down the road, she still hid a blessing she was ready to bestow.
Between the piles of birthday cards and endless newspaper clippings, a folder appeared
marked “Bret’s School”. Envelopes of cash developed and over $7,000 it was clear:
this money was a bizarre surprise, but held a weight we quickly understood.
Grandma looked down on her baby boy, and changed his life, she surely would.
Due to life and poor habits, Dad’s health suffered badly
his chronic pain reflected in the eyes of his family
Talk of procedures began but the bills were still up high.
God’s hand was at work with this one, the price of the surgery matched Grandma’s hidden cash, down to the dime.
The operation took place and prayers were made, this seemed to be a turning point for us.
Weight began to fall and pain began to cease,
a new sense of life and joy, and now Dad has turned a new leaf.
With Mitchell living on the other side of the states
and Rebecca in Oklahoma City, acting a maid,
Our parents may have questioned if we’d turn out like the rest:
to graduate and leave, to chase thrills in the city,
but three things happened at once to bring the oldest back to community.
- Andrea had a gift for the world, here’s a hint, her name starts with ‘O’
Olivia Inez Irby born first of their grandchildren
brought her parents back home and a new chapter began.
- Grandma Mitchell decided to sell all their land,
The home Beth grew up in was in high demand.
So she sold it like that, and like that, Mitch was convinced of one thing:
To be a student of Berry, he must major in homecoming.
Bret and Elizabeth have built a home, a life, a legacy
the foundation is of respect, love, and communion.
In the moments when they have felt failures or less
their impact and guidance shine through all the mess
Your children have grown strong, kind, and hopeful
they have their own struggles but keep their head high
because they have no doubt their mom and dad will be there through morning and through nigh
The older they got
and proud holders of their name,
they were always cautious of how they were seen.
to walk with the dignity of a king and his queen.
Though there is still so much more that’s come up in their lives,
to go over them all, we’d be here all night.
But since we need to close, we’ll leave you with one thing,
after thirty years of marriage, It’s always something.